21 March 2007

1:49 PM - 2 comments

A Letter to Karl Rove

Dear Karl Rove,

It's been a while since I have spoken to you and I must admit that primarily it is my fault. There is so much going on in the world. So much news to cover. Have you heard about the latest battle with Iran. I mean one would think that their president would take the high road and act a little bit repentant but nooo he seems to have balls of steel. Regardless of what the UN throws him he always finds a way to make them look like the bad guys in front of the middle eastern countries.

This whole election thing has been on my mind lately, I have been hoping that you will support a candidate and lend your expertise to one of these floundering men but you have remained inconspciously in the background. So the question that is on my mind is why. Why do you remain silent during such a crucial time. The winner of this election will help redefine US foreign and domestic policy. The winner won't even have to really do any work because your current protege has mananged to make such a mess of things. The deficit is at a high, unemployments rates are keeping steady, the housing market pretty much sucks right now. The Dow Jones Industrial is now dependent on Chinese market. It is sad. O and let us not forget the whole world hates us, their leaders might suck up to us, hi Tony B, but the average citizen thinks we are evil.

Now I know it is not your fault. I mean there is only so much that you can do, I mean you are after all only one man. If you were a brain surgeon maybe you could replace his brain with yours but then you would be brainless. You have come a long way with him, I remember the first time he gave the state of the union address, mercy, I almost wanted to cry. I mean you gave him the words, the fact that he can't read isn't your fault. It is your problem and hopefully before the next 600 days pass you will be able to do something about that.

Enough with the trip down memory lane. The Democrats are out to get you and I would hate to think that you will take this lying down. I mean they tried with the whole Valerie Plame thing but they didn't get you. Now they are trying to use the whole Alberto Gonzales snaffu to get you.
You cannot take this lying down. I mean you are one of the greatest political minds that the Republican party has. You are a king. Gingrich is smart but recently he has managed to put a fly in his own perfume. So it is up to you to save the party, the Evangelicals can't do it alone, they have the votes but you know the system like Dick C knows a rifle.

Look I gotta rap this up and get back on the campaign trail, So here is my piece of advice and you know how stingy I am with words of wisdom, so consider a gift from a friend. Stop hiding behind the trash. Every time your name is mentioned it is tied to the Titanic, which is sinking fast. Choose a candidate without a reputation and build it up. Make it so that every time that your name is mentioned it is not in reference to the current state of affairs. Forget the past and focus on the future. The republicans have forgotten how good you are because of the current POTUS but when you choose a candidate they will realize they need you to take back Capitol Hill. The moment they do, they will start to protect you and fight your battles. Especially the current one.

I got a letter from Alberto that I need to reply so heed my advice, wise one and we will soon rejoice.




Hahaha, this one made me laugh. You do have a way with words oh Great One. You actually are making politics interesting....kinda like Jon Stewart.

"Gingrich is smart but recently he has managed to put a fly in his own perfume"

where do you come up with these things? I must pick your mind!