30 January 2008

5:14 PM - 1 comment

Edwards Presidential Obit

You will be missed
I am starting to wonder
Who will sit in between Hillary and Obama at the debates
Who will cry I AM HERE, CAN SOMEBODY TALK TO MII
Who will speak with a southern drawl and put everybody to sleep
Who will take up the cause and speak of the underprivileged in New Orleans

Nobody
Nobody will do any of these things
But what I will miss the most,
What will haunt my dreams,
Is not being able to see,
To dream about your
gorgeous
hair

sniffle sniffle

4:46 PM - No comments

Guilianis's Presidential Obit.

You will be missed
Actually you will not really be missed
Okay this is your Obit, your Presidential race Obit

So we will try, though it is extremely hard to mourn you
We will miss constantly being reminded of your valiant efforts and success in regards to the 9/11 tragedy
We will miss constantly having to remember the names of all your 3 wives
We will miss constantly hearing FoxNews, your child company, boast of your greatness and prowess as a man
We will miss constantly having to endure you lash out at a foreign government leader
We will miss your polarizing decisions that tore a city appart
We will miss constantly having to decide where you stand on almost every republican core issue

Basically
We will miss you

Sniffle sniffle

26 January 2008

9:48 PM - 1 comment

POST IT

HILLARY
Hillary, stop shouting
Your voice sounds hoarse
You need honey and water


BILL
Ouch, bitter pill to swallow

EDWARDS
Sowwy

McCAIN
I need you to cream Guiliani in Florida
good luck baby

MICHELLE OBAMA
Don't speak in the next 10 days
Please don't speak,
JUST SMILE

OBAMA
You killed the speech
gave mii goosebumps

KUCINICH
You dropped out
at least you are not a sorer that sore loser

THOMPSON
I miss you baby
sniffle sniffle
NOT

HILLARY
You thanked the BAND
in the first two minutes
R U SERIOUS
CNN just commercialed you
They left you talking and
went to a commercial about tomatoes
OUCH

OBAMA
You need a national campaign
POSITIVE
Change

9:35 PM - No comments

Props Baby

Props Baby
Props Baby
1 2 3

I have no idea how you did it
and frankly I don't care
But PROPS
You doubled Hillary
and tripled Edwards
PROPS!!!

I just want a democrat
in the White House
and control of Congress
If it is u
cool
if not it aiight

But then I hear you speak
Like tonight
Baby
You killed that speech
Hands down
I had goose bumps

I am getting scared
You are getting too good
and we know what happens to people
who speak CHANGE who are good and black

Cough Nelson
Cough Martin
Cough
Cough

Big ups!
Tho'
Big ups!

9:31 PM - No comments

See Her Move

Hillary is on the run
and Wow! must admit
that I am impressed

She is in Tennessee
Her hubby is in
Missouri

See Her Move

24 January 2008

2:08 PM - 2 comments

ANOTHER Letter to Bill Clinton

Dear Billy,

I'll skip the niceties. Are you okay? By okay I mean sane, have you been spending too much with the sitting president that your brain cells have mysteriously disappeared. Or maybe we can attribute this recent lapse in judgment to your years of inactivity or age. Honestly, I don't care what or who we want to blame for this error.

I DON'T CARE.

I just need you to shut up before you cost the Democratic Party the election. Saying things like Blacks will vote for Obama and women will vote for Hillary is really, how can I put this, ummmm, DUMB. I wish there was another word I could use, seriously but your actions and words of late can be summed up with that four letter word.

Okay where should I start.
  1. Once upon a time there was a quarterback named Tom Brady who needed to downplay his teams ability so that people can watch the 2008 SuperBowl and so he cries Injury. Now this might sound familiar to you and that is because that is what the Patriots are doing, what does this have to do with you? Let's see if New Hampshire the polls made it seem like your girl was a billion points behind so that WEAK point victory became a STUNNING UPSET. Here is the problem Billy, you can only do this ONCE.
  2. You cannot cry wolf twice and in this situation, you are crying lamb. Yes, I know I have to explain everything to you so here it is, addled-minded-former-Prez-that i-used-to-look-up-to, 51% of the U.S is Female and only 13-15% is Black so technically Hillary should win.
  3. Most people that hear your statements don't know about the demographics of the South Carolina Democratic Party but fortunately for you I do. So I get that what you are trying to say is that Obama will carry the 50% of the Democratic Party in South Carolina that is black. I get it, but does america.
  4. Another problem with this is that you are forgetting that Black Women exist. There are actually contrary to popular opinion women who are black so how do they vote, Gender or Color.
  5. Stupidness I am done trying to educate you.
  6. You are reducing this whole thing to gender and race and Chris Matthews is apologizing for reducing Hillary to a stain on the Oval Office Carpet but you are buttressing his point.

Mercy I am sooo furious that I have to stop.

But let mii just say that whatever the outcome you have managed to trivialize the struggle and the party.

23 January 2008

4:37 PM - No comments

Fred Thompson

Hmmmm

I will come back and talk about your departure

I did not forget you
I just don't have internet at home

I miss you Freddy

and when I say that i mean it in a non horror movie kind of way

4:31 PM - 2 comments

Ouch

Everyone knows that politicking in the south is harsh

This isn't a fair weather state where you win votes but sipping coffee at the local diner.

So one shouldn't really be suprised that Edwards called out Hillary today in an attempt to garner votes.

One shouldn't be surprised but for some reason I am

It was harsh

Here are the words verbatim

"After the debate she flew out and she's been gone and she won't be back until I don't know — later in the week or until primary day," Edwards told a crowd of about 150 people in this small city. "What are the chances she's coming back when she's president of the United S
States?"

If I had an advanced degree in graphics and special effects i will have blood or at least ketchup dripping each word but I'm not.

sniffle
sniffle


In other news Bill Clinton was caught napping during an MLK speech event he was supposed to be attending

20 January 2008

6:26 PM - 2 comments

MaC is BacK

McCain beat Huckabee by like 3 points
not a lot but enough to bring the donors

He won the state he lost to Bush and the Southern Republican Belt
eight years ago

I'm soo happy

would i vote for him for president

Hell no

But i just want him to make a good showing
and he is

He is scrambling the field
and especially the base that i have come to detest


lol

this is getting more messy

19 January 2008

8:03 PM - No comments

Bloomberg Ticker

In the last 72 hours Mike Bloomberg met with a campaign consultant and a pollster company.


Now personally I think he should jump in just to scramble the race
But if he is just meeting to meet
To get his latest book sold
Or to be heard
Like that nonsense Newt Gingrich

I will not be happy

So yeah
Run
Don't run

Stop yanking our chain.

Chris Matthews

Dear Chris,

I like how you pontificated the diss by saying LET MII BE BRUTAL.

So let mii start by saying LET MII BE NOT BRUTAL

lol.

Rest easy, some of the people who see my letter head immediately begin to tremble because they believe this is the calm before the storm, but actually you are much better shape than Gonzales or Mike Brown.

So breathe.

By now we all know what you said and the heat that has followed is justifiable. Did you really think that you can make a comment, not just any comment but a SEXIST comment about the front runner in the Democratic Party without recieving any negative feedback.

Hmmm let's take a quick role call of those who DON'T have it out for you
Hmmm I'm thinking
Okay
President Bush
Dick Cheney
Karl Rove
and basically any tightwad chavunistic male in the Republican Party

Sorry, I wish I could add the Ann Coulter's but most of the shy women of the Republic Guard are secretly rooting for Hillary.

So yeah
Not good.
Very not good.

We appreciate the apology but why did it take you sooo long to apologize
Huh
Tell me.

You don't get to say what everyone is thinking

Yes we all know to some certain degree that the only reason why Hillary has any clout is because of the female sympathy vote.
Yes
we know
but we don't go around bringing it up on National TV
For real
It's like all the other stuff we know but don't say
like Santa Claus is not real
and Prince is gay

Yeah, we know but we don't say.

7:49 PM - No comments

Nevada

Dear Hillary,

Congratulations on your NEAR-win in Nevada. I am starting to become NOT-A-FAN. Seriously, you are making mii think that some things are not doable. Just like in New Hampshire, you have the numbers but once again Obama has the votes. Need I remind you of how we got into the last two wars, Gore had the popular vote but NOT the electoral votes. So yeah, congratulations on having the numbers but coming in one shy of tieing Obama for the delegate votes


Kafo

PS: I like the line you said about being united in the November, even tho' it is hard to believe that, I like the fact that you said it.

18 January 2008

Miscellanous Post-ITS

Hillary
Congratulations on your win in Michigan, I am not sure what this means but I hope you understand the ramifications.


Obama
I think it is laudable for you to acknowledge that Hillary and John respect black people. We really needed to hear YOU tell us that.


Guiliani
Please make a comeback, take Nevada

Biden,
I miss you like crazy, the last debate was lackluster, this inexperienced kids.

Richardson,
I wish I can say that you will be missed, but yeah, I would be lying.

Thompson,
Hmmmm, I never understood your appeal, I'm happy that for once, mii and the nation are on the same page, YES

Kucinich,
Dennis stop being mad and a spoilsport
For real, Dennis, this whole anger thing is beginning to look like a joke

Ron Paul,
I still address you as Ron Paul because I still do not know you

McCain
Baby, I am soooo happy you won New Hampshire, and I applaud the whole positive campaign thing you have going in the South.

Colbert, I mean Huckabee,
Hmmmm
that is all I am going to say
Hmmmm

CIA
Find the videotapes, mercy, or just make new ones it is called THE INTERNET and PHOTOSHOP

Chris Matthews,
I am going to have to write you a later,
I don't want to, but duty demands it

Musharraf
Shame on U

10 January 2008

09 January 2008

Letter to Bill Clinton

Dear Bill,

You are not a candidate and you do not hold any public office so this letter might come as a surprise to you. I wish I could start with congratulations on your spouse's recent victory in New Hampshire but your comments of late leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

As a former president, I would EXPECT you to know how the process works but it is possible that in between ALMOST-screwing interns and lying about it you have forgotten the system. So let mii take the time to refresh your memory.

Democrats have candidates who participate in the primaries and the states delegates vote during the convention based on the results. Does any of this sound familiar, let mii go on.

In the summer, the Democratic Party comes TOGETHER and chooses a NOMINEE that the party supports. Now listen carefully and stop fiddling with your dick, cuz this next part is crucial. The candidate chosen during the convention REPRESENTS the PARTY and all members of the party help CAMPAIGN for that person against the republicans.

So here is my question.
If you spend sooo much time bad mouthing and hurling incompetency ratings at Obama what happens if he becomes the nominee. How will you aid the party in getting him elected? Now I know that you don't want to consider this possibility, so let us look at the flipside. If your wife, Hillary, wins the nomination, how will alienating Obama and his supporters aid the Democratic cause?

You do realize that this doesn't end in New Hampshire,
You do realize that as an ex-president your words carry water
You do realize that talking out of your behind will be chronciled and replayed
You do realize that come the fall you will have to support and aid the candidate

I'm not a rocket scientist,
I never took a course in politics,
I've been unemployed for 3 years,
Never stepped foot on the campus of an Ivy League,
talk less about graduating from one with high honors with multiple degrees.

So yeah.

If I can figure this out
You need to reacquaint yourself with your brain cells.

OUT

KAFO

12:37 AM - 5 comments

New Hampshire

Stop with all this cow dung
For real.

It wasn't a victory for Clinton.
2 percent?
I'm supposed to get my panties all in a bunch because she beat Obama by 2 or 3 percent.

By the way I'm back from my self imposed vacation.

Am I the only person that remembers 2007? For the better part of the year Hilllary owned New Hampshire and Obama did not have a prayer, she was leading by DOUBLE DIGITS.

So yeah, was she going to win New Hampshire?
Hell yeah, but this 2 or 3 percent lead is nothing.

The media and the Clinton campaign wants you to believe that they were trailing in the polls but that is more of this cow dung crap that is being porported by the news corporations.

Where should I start?
Okay let's start with the Polls. Two days before the election they had Hillary trailing Obama by 12 percent. now anyone who has a brain knows that that is an emotional response and not the true feeling of the voter in New Hampshire. You are asking people 2 days after Obama just beat Hillary by 10 points who they are going to vote for and you expect them to say Hillary.

Exit polls show that 50% of Democratic primary voters had made their decision 3 weeks prior to the vote, now if we were to take a journey back to 2007 Clinton owned New Hampshire.

So this wasn't a victory.

People are making it seem that because she cried a few tears and Bill Clinton WHO I AM SOO WRITING A LETTER TO NEXT screamed words like fairy tale and pipe cream taht they changed the tide.

Polls need to be interpreted in the context, it is just like a Statistics, people can manipulate them all they want.

So to sum up my welcome back tirade.

Hillary did not win, if Hillary was to win she would have had to take the state but at least 6 points. She did NOT do that.
Let us not forget that when it comes to the convention in the summer the votes are divided up according to percentage. So out of the delegates votes she only gets 39% and Obama gets 37% .
Now listen carefully, cuz this is what they OMIT on national TV.
She gets 9 delegates 3 state wide and 6 district
Obama gets 9 delgates 3 state wide and 6 district
and Edwards gets 4 delegates
O and I forgot to mention the 8 superdelegates of which 3 support Obama and Hillary only has 2 in her pockets.


So enough with the patting her on the back
She did not do anything
They are tied.

Now if she comes back in South Carolina with a significant win then I will give her props but tears and calling in the hubby to hurl insults do NOT win her any points in my book.


Okay
now let mii go and abuse Billy.

Out