04 November 2008

9:46 AM - No comments

Dear Barack

Breathe in
Breathe out

now do it once again
over the course of the last couple of months you have chosen to listen to some of my advice and in other situations you have ignored it, only to reap the grim benefits for your deliquents.

I implore you to listen carefully and follow my instructions

1. Relax: there is nothing you can do anymore. It is over. Stop going over every speech and analyzing every ad. Stop it.

2. Spend some time remembering what really matters. Go to a secluded place and relax with your family for a couple of hours. Take the kids to the park or go watch Madagascar 2 with them. Exit polls are at least 8 hours away.

3. Deflat your ego: yes you have won in the historic town of Dixville Notch in New Hampshire, but the race is far from over. Early victories are good but you and I both know this comes down to Florida, Ohio, Penny, Colorado, New Mexico, Virginia and North Carolina. So don't get cocky, don't interview anybody today, and please tell Michelle to stop picking out colors.

4. Do not watch West Wing Season 7: yes your campaign has been similiar to Matt Santos but don't jinx it.

5. Do not take calls: people will start calling you. People will start making their predictions stay away from them and the TV for the next 10 hours at least

Do this
and this day will be what it will be